![]() ![]() For me, that means recognizing those feelings of jealousy as soon as they begin to bubble, taking a step back and deciding if that jealous rage is really fitting the facts. Yet, in these moments of jealousy and fear, that’s exactly what must be done,” she wrote, adding:ĭialectical behavior therapy reminds us that in order to mindfully act in our wise mind, we need to first take a non-judgmental stance. “When emotions get intense and that impulsivity itch is begging to be scratched, it’s hard to take a step back and consult wise mind. In her piece, “ When Jealousy Brings Out My ‘Borderline Cling,’” she shared how the DBT skill can help her through jealous moments. Mighty contributor Megan Glosson is a big believer in wise mind. To read more about using wise mind, head here. Wise mind helps you incorporate elements from your feelings (emotional mind) and logical side (reasonable mind) to make holistic decisions that will benefit you and your relationships in the long-run. Though we often believe the goal in emotional regulation is to always listen to your “logical” side, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) - the gold standard treatment for BPD - says otherwise.Īccording to DBT, accessing your “wise mind” is the best way to make decisions - especially in times of stress. Jealousy or not, struggling with how you think you should act versus how you feel like acting is something many people with BPD contend with on a daily basis. “Jealousy is not as simple as ‘I want that thing that I can’t have.’ I hope people understand that and don’t just see BPD as being ‘crazy.'” “My childhood was very chaotic and I’ve been through some abuse so it makes sense as to why I sometimes behave the way I do why I have such big fears about being invisible or abandoned,” Burgess explained. In fact, some studies have revealed between 30 and 90% of all people diagnosed with BPD have experienced child abuse or neglect. “In the back of my mind, I know what I’m feeling is pretty unreasonable, but the risk of being vulnerable is much scarier.”īurgess wants people to understand that for many people with BPD, jealousy isn’t just about jealousy, it’s often a reaction to past trauma. “In the moment it’s really hard to rationalize what you’re doing,” Burgess told The Mighty. Later on, we learn the anger is covering up a deeper insecurity about not being good enough. The logical side reminds her that her feelings are irrational but her louder, angry side wants her to lash out at her partner. In the comic, the character that represents Burgess explains that jealousy, “often feels like I’m splitting in two.” The two sides of her - the logical and the “angry” - feel like they are at war. You can see her comic, “Deconstructing Jealousy” below. To explain her reaction to her partner (and understand for herself why she reacted so strongly), she created a comic. Related: Seeing Firsthand How Canada's Mental Health System Is Failing Those Who Need It ![]() I didn’t react in the best way (I think I must have made him feel bad) and I felt pretty bad about it,” Burgess told The Mighty. “My ex at the time was being friendly with someone else while I was there. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |